CCSG Chapter 3: The Pastor [Part 1 of 2]

Read about this series of posts here, The Christian Culture Survival Guide.

Much like the shepherd watches over his sheep, the pastor of a church watches over his congregants. However, it’s blatantly obvious that not all pastors are the same (as not all churches are the same). Some pastors are “old preacher boys”, while others are “rock star preachers”. The author likes to put it this way- searching for a pastor that’s right for you is like picking the perfect ripe melon at the market.

There are three “stereotypical assumptions” to know when searching for the right “man of god”-
1. Over-zealous pastors (they’re hiding something).
2. A pastor who does not open his bible (false prophet).
3. Pastor with a shaved head, dresses in white, and speaks about space shuttles means you need a new church.

The author notes that meeting new pastors while searching for different churches is a hassle, and best to be tackled like a new relationship. Keep distance at first, and don’t get attached too fast. Rushing is never a good approach. And while you’re at it, watch out for these questions you may not want to hear from a pastor on your first visit-

1. “What do you think of my sermon this morning?” The author recalls a time when he was asked this, only to reply with a righteous swoop of an answer- “What sermon?” In my case, I’d just go with “Exceptionally boring.”
2. “So, do you think you’ll be coming back next Sunday?” This time, the author and I agree on the correct thing to do. Enthusiastically ask the pastor if he’ll be preaching next Sunday, then walk away from the conversation.
3. “Do you believe in tithing?” I don’t know about the author’s experience, but mine was one of the pastor telling the congregation every Sunday that not only must they tithe, but it was a necessary act in order for god to “shed his grace on thee”. And aside from tithing, there were several money pledges for extra spiritual blessing.*
4. “Can I visit you sometime this week?” [No, please, don’t.]
5. “You want to step into my office?” [I’d rather not.]

Smaller churches usually have a bigger sense of community, in my experience, so the Pastor is familiar with most people (if not, everybody). When I was a Christian, I preferred small, group bible studies over common Sunday services (My attitude wasn’t well received often in bigger circles, so I preferred this niche).

*On the issue of tithing, my church would usually pass around a yellow bucket with a happy face on it instead of an ever popular collection plate- as if that would make us feel happier about giving god what money we had left. Eventually, the church must’ve found this ineffective because they adopted a new system of tithing which involved having two large vases in front of the pew, so two lines were formed for tithing. If you didn’t tithe that day, not only would the pastor notice, but so would everybody else in the church. Same with the money pledges. I would often be left wondering who couldn’t afford lunch that day.