Thursday, December 24, 2009

Man commits suicide to be with his son

Apologies in advance, since this post wont be such a happy, joyous one- and on Christmas Eve, no less.  I feel inclined, however, to share this article.

A man has committed suicide in order to be reunited with his dead son, who died due to an automobile accident.
Kelly still blames herself for the fatal smash on the A81 Glasgow to Aberfoyle Road.

She was driving a Vauxhall Corsa with Connor in the passenger seat. They were following labourer Allan, who was carrying relatives in another car as they drove to Loch Achray to let their son try out his new fishing rod.

But Kelly lost control after hitting a pothole. The Corsa smashed into a Volvo and rolled down an embankment.

Connor was airlifted unconscious to Glasgow's Southern General where he was put on a life support machine.
The article states that the death of the boy was brought upon by the head injuries he sustained in the car crash.  This is obviously tear jerking in itself, and I couldn't imagine the pain endured by both the mother and father; it's obvious they loved their son very much, enough to want to follow him into the afterlife and take care of him.

If you're like me, you don't believe in the afterlife.  While there is no evidence that really disproves any notion of the afterlife, the burden of proof lies in those who posit that there is such a thing as the afterlife; in other words, this is the only life we're guaranteed.  This makes the story all the more tragic.
"While we sat we had talked about who would go with him if he died.
"Allan insisted I should stay to look after our 13-year-old daughter Lauren and he should go.
"He went into the family room and took a cocktail of tablets and tried to take his own life that night but nurses found him and he was saved."
But, several weeks later, Allan was found dead after strangling himself with a dog leash at a relative's home.
Shop worker Kelly, of Dennistoun, Glasgow, admitted that both of them had struggled to come to terms with losing Connor.
She added that their love for their daughter was the only thing that kept her going.
She added: "We were both tortured by Connor's death .
"We tried to carry on for Lauren's sake but it all got too much for Allan. When I heard he had died too, I screamed for about five minutes but then I felt a strange sense of comfort knowing that Connor wasn't alone any more.
"I went to see his body and he was smiling and looked at peace and contented for the first time since Connor died.
"I know that when he shut his eyes and died he knew that he was going to see Connor again.
This leaves me at a crossroads.  On one hand, I advocate that we as humans should recognize truth, and try to rid ourselves of any superstitious beliefs in order to satisfy the desire for a more realistic, and better society.  On the other hand, these people actually found comfort in their belief that their son would not be alone.  This comfort is found in religious believers of all stripes as well, who have found joy in the fact that maybe they're not alone.  But then I read this:
"She has been the strongest out of all of us and I am very proud of how she has coped with all this.
"I feel bad for her because I still can't face putting up a Christmas tree as it just makes me upset.

"The sense of loss doesn't seem to be getting any easier. My heart is still breaking for my lovely wee boy.
Nothing has been solved.  The truth is, not only have they lost their son, but they have lost their father too.  Sure, magical thinking can provide comfort for the moment, but it's not long term- and it isn't true comfort in the sense that it has any merit to it.  The belief in superstition made this story only all the more tragic.  In times like this, what one should not dwell on unsubstantiated thoughts of the afterlife, but rather continue to trudge on (for their sake, and the sake of others).  I don't mean to sound harsh, since the mother and daughter have been charitable in their reactions.
Since the double tragedy last year, Kelly has focused her energy on raising cash for the Southern General and the air ambulance.

With the support of her daughter and best pal Kevin Brannigan, 23, she has raised thousands of pounds for both causes.

Last week, they staged an original version of the Cinderella pantomime, penned by Kevin, starring family and friends, for 200 people at Bambury Centre in Barrowfield, Glasgow, in memory of Connor. They raised more than £600.

It was such a success that Kelly, who starred as Red Riding Hood, and Kevin, the Fairy Godfather, are planning to hold another night after the New Year.
The pair also held a charity dance, which raised £5000.

Kelly said: "The hospital staff were wonderful, so thoughtful and caring. They do such an amazing job. I want Connor to be proud of his mum and helping others makes me feel closer to him."
This is much more productive than taking your own life. Sometimes life is a struggle, I know, but the ability to continue forward in good faith (used loosely) is better than committing suicide.  It breaks my heart that this family has since lost two people, but as one reader puts it:
FatherTed13 wrote:
This is such a sad sad story. And proves that religon is a curse.

This young man killed himself so he could be with his son, nonsense.

All he has done is end his suffering, and in the process double that of the living.

A better tribute to his son would have been to stay healthy and look after the rest of his family.

I know i have been through this.

1 comment:

  1. Tragedy compounded with tragedy. As has been said, I really feel for the mother and daughter, and wonder what support might have helped the father.